Grandma and Grandpa's pool

We spend a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's pool.  It's endless fun.  Oliver is a master swimmer and Amelie is starting to get really comfortable in the water.  We'll have her swimming like a pro in the next few months.  Ollie is especially good and coming up with specialty dives and jumps and names them all super cool names. 

Afternoon at the beach

I finally got a working camera again so here's to being back in the blogging saddle!  Now that Nora is here I need to do better documenting our little lives so she can look back like the other kids and see how awesome our team is:)  So this was May 1st, 5 days before Nora's arrival so we are back tracking a bit.  The kids and I decided we needed a quick afternoon trip to the beach.  By this time I was soaking in the beach and sun as much as physically possible before little miss got here.  Here we are at Aliso Creek beach.  I love this beach.  I grew up coming to this beach and have some of the best childhood memories here.  I love that my kids get to grow up on this beach too.  This was a fun afternoon soaking in life as a family of four for a little longer.  Boy do I love these people.  

Ollie is 6!!!

I really don't think I could love this boy any more than I do.  He has the sweetest heart and constantly reminds me of the good in the world. He is positive and excited about life.  He is the best person to surprise and always has a grateful heart.  We went to Target yesterday so he could spend some birthday money and he picked out a Pokemon plush toy and still had money left so he gave his extra money to Ami because he felt bad she didn't get a new toy too.  His one wish this year was a party at Chuck E Cheese with "all his cousins".  Chelsea just got married so I think he thought everyone would still be around but we gathered some good friends and family, some tokens, pizza, and cupcakes and had a grand old time.  He loves to be loved and we are all glad to do it. 

Since the move, Oliver started a new kindergarten which has been really wonderful.  He has been blessed with a sweet, experienced teacher and he comes running to me at pickup every day with a big smile on his face, asking what we're doing next.  We went to the park yesterday and he wanted to play with a group of boys.  He wanted me to go ask them if he could play but I wanted him to stand on his own and go make friends.  Sometimes I don't know how far to push him.  He just looks for acceptance so much and I want him to remember that those boys are lucky that they get to play with him and that he doesn't need permission to play and have fun.  I'll say, just jump in there Ollie, they will love you!  If they don't give him a formal invite he gets his feelings hurt which usually ends in tears.  It can be a tough one.  I always said I just wanted to give my kids confidence.  So I am trying to remind him that he is the coolest boy around and anyone is lucky to know him. 

One of my favorite things about Ollie is how much he cares about people.  Ryan and I always ask him, who's your favorite friend at school?  And he will always say, mom I don't have a favorite friend because I love everyone just the same.  When we moved back, I wanted to hear what the kids thought about being back so I would ask, do you like living in Hawaii or California more?  Always, Oliver would say, I love both mom, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I'm so lucky to be able to raise such a caring person and he reminds me to be that way when I forget.  I also feel lucky that he is our oldest and will always take care of his sisters.  Watching him grow and learn has been so much fun.  I love that boy with all my heart.  Happy 6th bday my sweet Ollie boy.   

A Hui Hou!

 

 

It all boils down to the fact that ultimately I have to do what I know Heavenly Father wants me to do; even if I dont necessarily want to do it. I dont want to sound ungrateful for the once in a lifetime opportunity I've been given to work for DreamWorks as part of their Facilities and Construction Management Team; I'm very grateful. I'm also sooooo very excited to be closer to family and friends that we left on the mainland that we love dearly and cant wait to see again. But (just like I tell Becky) there's something about this island that is indescribable. Ever since the very first time I set foot here, I felt I found a piece of my soul that had been waiting for me. When I left, it refused to leave the island. It wont leave the island. That's why this is literally breaking my heart. I hate leaving this place.

I couldn't have begun to imagine the wonderful Kailua family we would be arriving to about a year ago. So many families to name: the Underwoods, Johnsons, Collins, Sawadas, Halls, Wongs, Baldomeros, Thorntons, Lynchs, Coopers, Hallstroms, Kavas, Misis, Hikidas, Gossers, Kuniokas, and soooo many more. It honestly felt like coming home. I'm going to miss our Kailua family soooo much. Everyone is so genuine, so loving and unassuming. There's something so unique in the feeling of people in Hawaii. There's no status. There's no criticism. There's no gossip. People live and spread Aloha to everyone. I love our Kailua family. Words cant describe how much it hurts to leave them. I love our people here. I love the culture. I love how people are greeted with a hug and a kiss. I love how people wave each other into traffic and are thanked with a 'shaka' out the window. I love how people are genuinely concerned for others and are always ready and willing to help. I know we can find all of these qualities in people anywhere in the world; but there's something unique here. It is just the common and unspoken way in which just about everyone you meet lives their life. You can feel it.

I love the weather. I hate seasons. This is my favorite season and I get to live it 365 days a year. Surfing goes without saying. The fact that my kids live in the ocean here will be sorely missed. Becky asking to go surfing on the weekends will be sorely missed. The almost daily rain. The green cliffs on the windward side. Matsumotos, Kailua Keiki Surf Competition, Summer Town Surf Sessions, Ted's Bakery, Rocky Rights, Vland, KBay, Da Bus, Na Pono Field Trips, Crystal Clear Water, BYUH, Castles, Camping, Town, Makapu'u, Sandys, The Pali, Kalamas, Kainalu Elementary, Jungle Park, The Jungle in general, Keolu Loop, Driving on Kam highway. Hiking pillbox, Nu'uanu valley, Makapu'u lighthouse and more. Chickens on the side of the road. The flour-like sand at Lanikai. The granual-like sand of the north shore. Did I mentioned surfing :). All this, plus a million things more I will miss on a daily basis. But mostly I'll miss our people.

I will miss my kids at church. Teaching Sunday School and Seminary for the juniors and seniors has been one of the best things ever. I love those kids. I pray for them multiple times a day. I honestly consider them my younger brothers and sisters. I want them to have every joy in life possible. I love that I get to talk to them about whats most important in life. I love talking to them about mission and getting them ready to go on their own. I love talking about the Gospel. Next to my family there is nothing I like to talk about more than the Gospel because it's what makes literally everything beautiful in life. I will miss them dearly. You guys better keep me informed on what you're doing. I want in on the family newsletters/missionary letters for sure.

That's what hurts about leaving. All these people that I love like family, that I might not necessarily see every Christmas. Its like we're family, without being direct family. It really hurts to leave them. Thank goodness H.F. has a perfect plan that allows me to be with the people I love forever. Thank goodness distance and even death itself is only a temporary delayer of me being able to spend all of time with the people who are important to me. I love that fact. It keeps me going everyday because I know it is true.

I'll end this letter where I began: I have to do what H.F. wants. He's never let me down. Even though its hard, I know that doing what He wants is ALWAYS the right decision. We will miss our Hawaiian family and will come back to visit as often as possible. And for our other family on the mainland: we can't wait to see you! As bad as it hurts to leave Hawaii, we're equally excited to be with our mainland family and friends again. God bless the expanding families we've created wherever we go. We love you. A hui hou ohana.

Nora

I am being struck with major guilt as I finally write about this 3rd pregnancy!  My other pregnancies were so well documented, sad.  It doesn't help that our camera has been broken for months and apparently no one in Hawaii can fix it.  I have been taking belly shots here and there on instagram, which I need to figure out how to load to my blog.  Ahhhh facebook and insta, the ruin of blogs.  I am making a goal that even if I don't have pictures to post, words are much more important.  This blog is sort of all I've got since I'm not much of a journal writer.  So onto my sweet baby Norah...

Ryan and I had been playing with the idea of getting pregnant again but I have to say it was a long process.  I was loving my nice long break from babies, and really savoring Oliver and Amelie at their ages when they are so independent and fun to watch.  I was thinking, do I really want to mix things up with another little one?  How could I possibly love another as much as I love these two.  I can't say there was this lightbulb moment when we decided the time is right, lets do it!  It just sort of happened and when I took that pregnancy test and saw a faint positive line, a huge smile spread across my face.  I went to show Ryan (we were vegging out in bed watching Grey's Anatomy) and he was like, "what does that mean, the line is faint.  Does that really mean your pregnant?"  I was like yeah babe, even a faint line means pregnant!  What do you think!  It was that fun but crazy moment when you realize another life is growing right before you're very eyes but it doesn't seem real yet.

I'd always thought that if we had a third it would be a boy.  Right when I found out I was pregnant I told Ryan, this is a baby girl.  I just know it.  And her name is Nora.  I have never had an easy time finding names for my kids and actually calling them by their name, especially before they are born feels so weird.  This little girl just came with a name and spirit from the start.

My feelings of excitement started fading a little once the morning sickness hit.  I always feel so bad about that but it's so hard to be excited for a chubby little baby when you're just thinking about getting from one day to the next.  And when there are no other signs of the pregnancy than being sick, you feel like you've caught this really bad bug and sort of forget about the baby part.  This was the sickest I have been so far and I wasn't expecting that since Amelie was even easier than Oliver's pregnancy.  Maybe I'm getting old:)  At 15 weeks I started feeling her move and one night Ryan felt her move and it just makes it all real.  She seems to be a pretty laid back baby.  She moves a lot in the evening a few hours before bed and that's pretty much the only time I really notice her acrobatics.  Maybe that means she will be an amazing sleeper?  Yes please.  I'm still having sick incidents here and there but now that I'm more than halfway there, I feel so much better.  Now is the time to start getting really excited to meet this little girl. 

We told my family she was a girl on Christmas Eve and I made a cake and dyed it pink.  When I cut the cake and held it up and everyone found out it was a fun moment because I had led everyone to believe she was a boy:)  Amelie was thrilled, of course, for a baby sister but poor Ollie wanted a brother so bad.  He just kept saying, please say boy, please say boy.  When he found out he just put his head in his hands and cried.  I tried to tell him how awesome two sisters would be and that since he is such a good big brother, Heavenly Father decided to send two girls for him to watch over.  He was fine but I was a little sad for him.  That night at bed, I said, Ollie are you going to love the baby even if she's a girl?  He said yes mom!  And then leaned over and said "Merry Christmas baby Norah, I love you".  That boy melts my heart.  He had never since complained about his baby sister.  I wish I had that boys positive outlook on life.  He is such a light. 

Amelie keeps saying, mom, I'm a big sister.  Just matter of fact.  I was inititally a little worried about how she'd handle a new baby but honestly I think she's going to love it.  It will be so fun to see some sister love.  I know all about sister love.  Ryan can't wait for another baby girl.  Although it has recently occured to him that he will now have to give two daughters away and he's just not sure he can handle that.  I reminded him that you never really give your daughters away, they always stay close.  We are so excited to meet little Nora in May and can't wait to kiss her chubby cheeks as I'm sure they will be.  Our babies always come out rolly polly, just the way it should be.  We love you already baby Nora.  I have a feeling you're going to fit right in with our team.        

Family Pictures 2012

Well my beautiful sister in law Jill Facer took these family photos of us while they were visiting.  These are our first official pictures as a family, other than random shots here and there of course.  I was so happy to get some pictures of our little family as it stands before we mix things up (and I get fat pregnancy face).  I have gotten very attached to the four of us hanging out these past 3 years.  "GO TEAM!" is a familiar saying around our house.  It's basically our way of saying, our family is the best and we love each other.  So happy Jill captured these precious moments of such a special stage in our lives.  And now I can send out a legit Christmas card!  Love you Jill, thanks for jumping a fence with me on private property while Ryan freaked out.  If you are in Orange County, here is Jill's website http://www.jillfacerphotography.com/  You should really look her up:)

The Big 3-0!!!

If you're easily bothered by sappiness.  Do NOT read.  Seriously.  You've been warned.

So you know that feeling when you're young.  Like late, late at night during a road trip when you're looking out at the stars, the wheels of the car are humming along and you find yourself  thinking about someone for hours and your heart feels like its going to burst.  Or hear a song that time travels you back to a specific day and time when you experienced something life changing.  Or how a certain fragrance can bring back feelings and emotion that you may have felt were gone forever?  You know that feeling?  For the older readers (if you've made it this far into this sappy saga); these moments of phenomenon may be almost dream-like.  Almost as if you're having a Mr. Darling moment of childhood remembrance from a 'Neverland' almost forgotten from "long ago".  This is my weak attempt to explain how I feel about Becky every single day.

It's actually kind of becoming a problem.  I find myself looking at her like I did when we first started dating.  I can't help it.  It's not forced by any means.  It's genuinely the way I feel and I'm drawn to react.  I could look at and trace her face with the same sense of focus and entrancement as I did the first day I held her hand.  I guess I just feel beyond blessed.  She's the one that everyone else was compared to in my life; even before I knew that I wanted her to be mine.  She's the one that I connected with from the beginning.  She's my ideal on every level.  So I feel crazy blessed that I get to be with my perfect someone for ever and ever.  Not everyone gets to have that. 

Yes, it's very sappy and romantic.  But when I think about what I have, it's no mystery to me why I act the way I do.  She's what I've always wanted and waited for since I was young.  All those feelings I had are alive in her every day.  Being around the things that are most important to you shouldn't mean they become stale or taken for granted.  On the contrary.  When you throw your heart and soul into things that are truly important; I've found that's when things go from amazing to miraculous.  So here's to my Baby, my every day miracle.  That's how I feel about her, truly.  She makes every day better.  Not just saying that to say it.  Seeing her and having her near always lifts me up; always.  Don't be afraid of the 30s Baby; they're going to be awesome.  You're a hot Momma in your prime and there is so much more for us in store.  For the rest of you readers, you were warned.  Although I know many of you know what I'm talking about.  Maybe not to the degree that I have it; but you know how awesome it is to have Becky around.  Love you Baby!!!  So glad I get to have you on our Team.

Faith

Recently, some friends of ours from Aliso Viejo lost their sweet 17 month old to a drowning accident.  As I've been following their process of grief on facebook, I have been so touched by their faith in Heavenly Father's plan for each of us.  I think that I would melt into utter and complete despair.  Seriously.  I don't know how they are doing it.  Actually I do.  Heavenly Father is comforting thier way towards understanding for this sad and tragic situation.  I remember one of Courtney's first posts after her son's death was "I know there is a God.  Max has gone to Heaven.  Please pray his organs will bless many children and save lives". 

A few days ago, Courtney's husband posted the details about his passing (below).  What struck me the most in his words was that if given the chance, they would not change anything that day.  I can't imagine what kind of faith it takes to trust and know that Heavenly Father had a plan for Max and he had fulfilled it in his short 17 months of life and this was his way of returning home.  My first thought would have been, what could I have done?  How could I have prevented this?  But you know what, I am not in charge.  None of us are.  I am working on having the kind of faith I need to face a trial like this if one ever comes.  I was just impressed to include this in my blog to always remind myself that faith is the answer.  Thank you Courtney and Gordon for your immense love for your little one and the understanding that only can come from our Heavenly Father.  I have been so touched this week thinking of little Max.  We love you guys and are praying for you constantly.    

"Max had been playing with trains with his brother and uncle in a toy room near a common area of our vacation home in Capistrano Beach. He was noticed missing for only a few short minutes, in which time he was able get out a locked door and into the hot tub, which is one of his favorite places in the back yard. When he was found, all efforts were made to revive him until the ambulance arrived, and the efforts continued in the nearby hospital . Max’s beautiful spirit never returned to his body, and surely he has been embraced by loving arms on the other side. Courtney and I have made all necessary efforts to keep our children safe and will continue to make the same efforts. We know that this tragedy was not the result of our shortcomings. Sometimes, despite all of our preparation and precautions, accidents occur. Given the chance to live out that day again, we would have not done anything differently.

I was a witness to a miracle at the hospital, where after over 25 minutes of no activity, Max’s heart was revived. His heart has worked tirelessly to preserve all of his organs and tissue (far beyond the estimation of the doctors). Max will bless many lives with his contributions to others as an organ donor.

Max has been such a blessing in our lives and we are so grateful for the 17 months that we were able to share with him. We know that he will continue to be with us and will be present in our lives as a support in future challenges. He has been a special friend to his brother and will never fail to fulfill his role as Jaxton’s constant companion.

Max – We love you!"

Ami J B-Day!

I had to send a shout out to my favorite little girl Ami J for her birthday.  I love that girl so much.  Being from a family of 5 boys and no sisters; I always wanted a little girl of my own.  I couldn't have created a more perfect package than Amelie.  Good thing Heavenly Father knew just how to put her together.  Ami is the best.  She is the funny one in the family.  Sometimes she'll just say a word or phrase and Oliver will erupt in un-controllable laughter for minutes.  It is very reminiscent of Jon and Jeff. Jon could say a single word, or even just look at Jeff a certain way and Jeff would be on the floor laughing.  Ami is sassy which drives me crazy sometimes but I also love because I know she wont let anyone push her around.  Still, she can be very sweet; and out of nowhere she'll say, 'Dadda, I love you'.  Hopefully she's not saying that just to get something out of me :)

Ami is gorgeous.  She has the most stunning features.  Ever since she was a baby people would stop us and tell us how beautiful she is.  My favorite to this day is when the waitress at Ruby's almost fell over when she saw Ami's face.  When Ami turned around in her little high chair the waitress literraly took a few steps back and said 'Oh my gosh!  I was not expecting that!  She's so beautiful'.  So funny.

I love playing with her hair.  I dont know how to do hair; but I love playing with Ami's hair.  I love hearing her little voice.  Becky and I always say Ami must be so frustrated with us sometimes because when she's talking, you can't help but just smile and kiss her little face.  Poor girl, she's trying to communicate and we're always so distracted by how cute she is. 

Ami loves to play as Becky mentioned.  She will make me play pretend anything for hours on end.  She has a wonderful imagination and can be very independent.  I could go on and on about that little girl.  I love her.  I'm so glad she gets to be mine forever.

My baby is 3!!!

 Amelie opening presents with the help of Auntie Leah

 I told everyone to look and smile.  Ollie was the only one who obliged:) 

 Excited about her sticker doll book

 Ready to paint her ceramic fishies.  If you know Ami, you know she loved fish, birds, and eggs especially right now.  We couldn't find any good egg toys

 I just couldn't pass up this one of Ollie's face.  My kids seriously have the best expressions

 Ryan picked out this cupcake pinata for Ami's bday.  She was beyond excited.  We got to have a few friends with us to celebrate with pizza and cake.  It was so fun

 Getting ready to show us her moves.  I was impressed with her actually.  That little girls got some spunk.  Just the way I like it 

 Ollie was a master at the pinata. 

 Luke trying his luck.  Such a cutie

 Happy birthday to you! 

Blowing out her candles.  Here's to a wonderful 3rd year for our little miss.  Love her so much.  I can hardly believe that 3 years has gone by so fast.  So much has happened since she came into our lives.  Ryan had just gotten a job out of college when she was born and we were living between our parents houses.  We moved to Aliso when she was 6 months old.  And now we live in Hawaii!  She is such a fun little girl to spend my days with.  I love the alone time we get together.  She loves to play "neighbor" and make cookies and cakes to take to each other (usually out of playdo).  She can play pretend "birdie" and "fishy" with Ryan's hands making puppets.  She makes you work a little harder for kisses and loves but when you get them, it is worth all the work.  She doesn't let anyone push her around and is very comfortable fighting for what she wants.  She is a sweet, caring friend, and loves her brother so much.  I love the way she talks in her high little voice and that she uses terms like "actually" and "probably" with a tilt of her head.  When she gets excited she shakes and squeezes her hands really tight.  She still loves to suck that thumb even though she frequently comments that big girls don't suck their thumb.  She is hard to put to bed.  Never wants to miss out on anything.  She gets away with a lot because that is a hard face to say no to.  The best stuff comes in small packages.  I can't wait to see what that little girl turns out to be.  She is something special.