Wednesday, January 16, 2013

A Hui Hou!

It all boils down to the fact that ultimately I have to do what I know Heavenly Father wants me to do; even if I dont necessarily want to do it. I dont want to sound ungrateful for the once in a lifetime opportunity I've been given to work for DreamWorks as part of their Facilities and Construction Management Team; I'm very grateful. I'm also sooooo very excited to be closer to family and friends that we left on the mainland that we love dearly and cant wait to see again. But (just like I tell Becky) there's something about this island that is indescribable. Ever since the very first time I set foot here, I felt I found a piece of my soul that had been waiting for me. When I left, it refused to leave the island. It wont leave the island. That's why this is literally breaking my heart. I hate leaving this place.

I couldn't have begun to imagine the wonderful Kailua family we would be arriving to about a year ago. So many families to name: the Underwoods, Johnsons, Collins, Sawadas, Halls, Wongs, Baldomeros, Thorntons, Lynchs, Coopers, Hallstroms, Kavas, Misis, Hikidas, Gossers, Kuniokas, and soooo many more. It honestly felt like coming home. I'm going to miss our Kailua family soooo much. Everyone is so genuine, so loving and unassuming. There's something so unique in the feeling of people in Hawaii. There's no status. There's no criticism. There's no gossip. People live and spread Aloha to everyone. I love our Kailua family. Words cant describe how much it hurts to leave them. I love our people here. I love the culture. I love how people are greeted with a hug and a kiss. I love how people wave each other into traffic and are thanked with a 'shaka' out the window. I love how people are genuinely concerned for others and are always ready and willing to help. I know we can find all of these qualities in people anywhere in the world; but there's something unique here. It is just the common and unspoken way in which just about everyone you meet lives their life. You can feel it.

I love the weather. I hate seasons. This is my favorite season and I get to live it 365 days a year. Surfing goes without saying. The fact that my kids live in the ocean here will be sorely missed. Becky asking to go surfing on the weekends will be sorely missed. The almost daily rain. The green cliffs on the windward side. Matsumotos, Kailua Keiki Surf Competition, Summer Town Surf Sessions, Ted's Bakery, Rocky Rights, Vland, KBay, Da Bus, Na Pono Field Trips, Crystal Clear Water, BYUH, Castles, Camping, Town, Makapu'u, Sandys, The Pali, Kalamas, Kainalu Elementary, Jungle Park, The Jungle in general, Keolu Loop, Driving on Kam highway. Hiking pillbox, Nu'uanu valley, Makapu'u lighthouse and more. Chickens on the side of the road. The flour-like sand at Lanikai. The granual-like sand of the north shore. Did I mentioned surfing :). All this, plus a million things more I will miss on a daily basis. But mostly I'll miss our people.

I will miss my kids at church. Teaching Sunday School and Seminary for the juniors and seniors has been one of the best things ever. I love those kids. I pray for them multiple times a day. I honestly consider them my younger brothers and sisters. I want them to have every joy in life possible. I love that I get to talk to them about whats most important in life. I love talking to them about mission and getting them ready to go on their own. I love talking about the Gospel. Next to my family there is nothing I like to talk about more than the Gospel because it's what makes literally everything beautiful in life. I will miss them dearly. You guys better keep me informed on what you're doing. I want in on the family newsletters/missionary letters for sure.

That's what hurts about leaving. All these people that I love like family, that I might not necessarily see every Christmas. Its like we're family, without being direct family. It really hurts to leave them. Thank goodness H.F. has a perfect plan that allows me to be with the people I love forever. Thank goodness distance and even death itself is only a temporary delayer of me being able to spend all of time with the people who are important to me. I love that fact. It keeps me going everyday because I know it is true.

I'll end this letter where I began: I have to do what H.F. wants. He's never let me down. Even though its hard, I know that doing what He wants is ALWAYS the right decision. We will miss our Hawaiian family and will come back to visit as often as possible. And for our other family on the mainland: we can't wait to see you! As bad as it hurts to leave Hawaii, we're equally excited to be with our mainland family and friends again. God bless the expanding families we've created wherever we go. We love you. A hui hou ohana.

Friday, January 11, 2013


I am being struck with major guilt as I finally write about this 3rd pregnancy!  My other pregnancies were so well documented, sad.  It doesn't help that our camera has been broken for months and apparently no one in Hawaii can fix it.  I have been taking belly shots here and there on instagram, which I need to figure out how to load to my blog.  Ahhhh facebook and insta, the ruin of blogs.  I am making a goal that even if I don't have pictures to post, words are much more important.  This blog is sort of all I've got since I'm not much of a journal writer.  So onto my sweet baby Norah...

Ryan and I had been playing with the idea of getting pregnant again but I have to say it was a long process.  I was loving my nice long break from babies, and really savoring Oliver and Amelie at their ages when they are so independent and fun to watch.  I was thinking, do I really want to mix things up with another little one?  How could I possibly love another as much as I love these two.  I can't say there was this lightbulb moment when we decided the time is right, lets do it!  It just sort of happened and when I took that pregnancy test and saw a faint positive line, a huge smile spread across my face.  I went to show Ryan (we were vegging out in bed watching Grey's Anatomy) and he was like, "what does that mean, the line is faint.  Does that really mean your pregnant?"  I was like yeah babe, even a faint line means pregnant!  What do you think!  It was that fun but crazy moment when you realize another life is growing right before you're very eyes but it doesn't seem real yet.

I'd always thought that if we had a third it would be a boy.  Right when I found out I was pregnant I told Ryan, this is a baby girl.  I just know it.  And her name is Nora.  I have never had an easy time finding names for my kids and actually calling them by their name, especially before they are born feels so weird.  This little girl just came with a name and spirit from the start.

My feelings of excitement started fading a little once the morning sickness hit.  I always feel so bad about that but it's so hard to be excited for a chubby little baby when you're just thinking about getting from one day to the next.  And when there are no other signs of the pregnancy than being sick, you feel like you've caught this really bad bug and sort of forget about the baby part.  This was the sickest I have been so far and I wasn't expecting that since Amelie was even easier than Oliver's pregnancy.  Maybe I'm getting old:)  At 15 weeks I started feeling her move and one night Ryan felt her move and it just makes it all real.  She seems to be a pretty laid back baby.  She moves a lot in the evening a few hours before bed and that's pretty much the only time I really notice her acrobatics.  Maybe that means she will be an amazing sleeper?  Yes please.  I'm still having sick incidents here and there but now that I'm more than halfway there, I feel so much better.  Now is the time to start getting really excited to meet this little girl. 

We told my family she was a girl on Christmas Eve and I made a cake and dyed it pink.  When I cut the cake and held it up and everyone found out it was a fun moment because I had led everyone to believe she was a boy:)  Amelie was thrilled, of course, for a baby sister but poor Ollie wanted a brother so bad.  He just kept saying, please say boy, please say boy.  When he found out he just put his head in his hands and cried.  I tried to tell him how awesome two sisters would be and that since he is such a good big brother, Heavenly Father decided to send two girls for him to watch over.  He was fine but I was a little sad for him.  That night at bed, I said, Ollie are you going to love the baby even if she's a girl?  He said yes mom!  And then leaned over and said "Merry Christmas baby Norah, I love you".  That boy melts my heart.  He had never since complained about his baby sister.  I wish I had that boys positive outlook on life.  He is such a light. 

Amelie keeps saying, mom, I'm a big sister.  Just matter of fact.  I was inititally a little worried about how she'd handle a new baby but honestly I think she's going to love it.  It will be so fun to see some sister love.  I know all about sister love.  Ryan can't wait for another baby girl.  Although it has recently occured to him that he will now have to give two daughters away and he's just not sure he can handle that.  I reminded him that you never really give your daughters away, they always stay close.  We are so excited to meet little Nora in May and can't wait to kiss her chubby cheeks as I'm sure they will be.  Our babies always come out rolly polly, just the way it should be.  We love you already baby Nora.  I have a feeling you're going to fit right in with our team.