The Big 3-0!!!

If you're easily bothered by sappiness.  Do NOT read.  Seriously.  You've been warned.

So you know that feeling when you're young.  Like late, late at night during a road trip when you're looking out at the stars, the wheels of the car are humming along and you find yourself  thinking about someone for hours and your heart feels like its going to burst.  Or hear a song that time travels you back to a specific day and time when you experienced something life changing.  Or how a certain fragrance can bring back feelings and emotion that you may have felt were gone forever?  You know that feeling?  For the older readers (if you've made it this far into this sappy saga); these moments of phenomenon may be almost dream-like.  Almost as if you're having a Mr. Darling moment of childhood remembrance from a 'Neverland' almost forgotten from "long ago".  This is my weak attempt to explain how I feel about Becky every single day.

It's actually kind of becoming a problem.  I find myself looking at her like I did when we first started dating.  I can't help it.  It's not forced by any means.  It's genuinely the way I feel and I'm drawn to react.  I could look at and trace her face with the same sense of focus and entrancement as I did the first day I held her hand.  I guess I just feel beyond blessed.  She's the one that everyone else was compared to in my life; even before I knew that I wanted her to be mine.  She's the one that I connected with from the beginning.  She's my ideal on every level.  So I feel crazy blessed that I get to be with my perfect someone for ever and ever.  Not everyone gets to have that. 

Yes, it's very sappy and romantic.  But when I think about what I have, it's no mystery to me why I act the way I do.  She's what I've always wanted and waited for since I was young.  All those feelings I had are alive in her every day.  Being around the things that are most important to you shouldn't mean they become stale or taken for granted.  On the contrary.  When you throw your heart and soul into things that are truly important; I've found that's when things go from amazing to miraculous.  So here's to my Baby, my every day miracle.  That's how I feel about her, truly.  She makes every day better.  Not just saying that to say it.  Seeing her and having her near always lifts me up; always.  Don't be afraid of the 30s Baby; they're going to be awesome.  You're a hot Momma in your prime and there is so much more for us in store.  For the rest of you readers, you were warned.  Although I know many of you know what I'm talking about.  Maybe not to the degree that I have it; but you know how awesome it is to have Becky around.  Love you Baby!!!  So glad I get to have you on our Team.

Faith

Recently, some friends of ours from Aliso Viejo lost their sweet 17 month old to a drowning accident.  As I've been following their process of grief on facebook, I have been so touched by their faith in Heavenly Father's plan for each of us.  I think that I would melt into utter and complete despair.  Seriously.  I don't know how they are doing it.  Actually I do.  Heavenly Father is comforting thier way towards understanding for this sad and tragic situation.  I remember one of Courtney's first posts after her son's death was "I know there is a God.  Max has gone to Heaven.  Please pray his organs will bless many children and save lives". 

A few days ago, Courtney's husband posted the details about his passing (below).  What struck me the most in his words was that if given the chance, they would not change anything that day.  I can't imagine what kind of faith it takes to trust and know that Heavenly Father had a plan for Max and he had fulfilled it in his short 17 months of life and this was his way of returning home.  My first thought would have been, what could I have done?  How could I have prevented this?  But you know what, I am not in charge.  None of us are.  I am working on having the kind of faith I need to face a trial like this if one ever comes.  I was just impressed to include this in my blog to always remind myself that faith is the answer.  Thank you Courtney and Gordon for your immense love for your little one and the understanding that only can come from our Heavenly Father.  I have been so touched this week thinking of little Max.  We love you guys and are praying for you constantly.    

"Max had been playing with trains with his brother and uncle in a toy room near a common area of our vacation home in Capistrano Beach. He was noticed missing for only a few short minutes, in which time he was able get out a locked door and into the hot tub, which is one of his favorite places in the back yard. When he was found, all efforts were made to revive him until the ambulance arrived, and the efforts continued in the nearby hospital . Max’s beautiful spirit never returned to his body, and surely he has been embraced by loving arms on the other side. Courtney and I have made all necessary efforts to keep our children safe and will continue to make the same efforts. We know that this tragedy was not the result of our shortcomings. Sometimes, despite all of our preparation and precautions, accidents occur. Given the chance to live out that day again, we would have not done anything differently.

I was a witness to a miracle at the hospital, where after over 25 minutes of no activity, Max’s heart was revived. His heart has worked tirelessly to preserve all of his organs and tissue (far beyond the estimation of the doctors). Max will bless many lives with his contributions to others as an organ donor.

Max has been such a blessing in our lives and we are so grateful for the 17 months that we were able to share with him. We know that he will continue to be with us and will be present in our lives as a support in future challenges. He has been a special friend to his brother and will never fail to fulfill his role as Jaxton’s constant companion.

Max – We love you!"

Ami J B-Day!

I had to send a shout out to my favorite little girl Ami J for her birthday.  I love that girl so much.  Being from a family of 5 boys and no sisters; I always wanted a little girl of my own.  I couldn't have created a more perfect package than Amelie.  Good thing Heavenly Father knew just how to put her together.  Ami is the best.  She is the funny one in the family.  Sometimes she'll just say a word or phrase and Oliver will erupt in un-controllable laughter for minutes.  It is very reminiscent of Jon and Jeff. Jon could say a single word, or even just look at Jeff a certain way and Jeff would be on the floor laughing.  Ami is sassy which drives me crazy sometimes but I also love because I know she wont let anyone push her around.  Still, she can be very sweet; and out of nowhere she'll say, 'Dadda, I love you'.  Hopefully she's not saying that just to get something out of me :)

Ami is gorgeous.  She has the most stunning features.  Ever since she was a baby people would stop us and tell us how beautiful she is.  My favorite to this day is when the waitress at Ruby's almost fell over when she saw Ami's face.  When Ami turned around in her little high chair the waitress literraly took a few steps back and said 'Oh my gosh!  I was not expecting that!  She's so beautiful'.  So funny.

I love playing with her hair.  I dont know how to do hair; but I love playing with Ami's hair.  I love hearing her little voice.  Becky and I always say Ami must be so frustrated with us sometimes because when she's talking, you can't help but just smile and kiss her little face.  Poor girl, she's trying to communicate and we're always so distracted by how cute she is. 

Ami loves to play as Becky mentioned.  She will make me play pretend anything for hours on end.  She has a wonderful imagination and can be very independent.  I could go on and on about that little girl.  I love her.  I'm so glad she gets to be mine forever.