21 weeks

Ahhhhh, at this point of pregnancy I am so grateful first off to feel A LOT better. I think looking back it was worst than I thought at the time. It's probably not a good sign to NOT want to get out of bed in the morning or really function at all throughout the day. That is very unlike me. So I am sure glad that is over and I'm feeling more like myself. I wonder if it's true that boy and girl pregnancies are way different, this one sure has been. I am also immensely grateful that it is warm and sunny outside. With a two year old, this is like a must. I do not know how people survive winters here with little kids, well without totally losing it. Speaking of the warmth, I am slowly packing and getting really excited for our move. We also get to go see Austin come home at the end of the month. Crazy that it's already been 2 years, wow. When he left Ollie was a newborn and now he returns to a full blown toddler with attitude to match. Oliver will love another "big boy" to adore.

I have already had a few people ask me when am I due and then when I respond end of September, they are like, wow you still have a ways to go. Come on people, I don't look THAT big yet, give the pregnant girl a break! But it's actually fun, to look pregnant instead of just really chubby, so it's ok. I'm always happy when my belly gets past my chest, a real milestone.

For the first time this week I have been totally sure that I can feel this baby girl, and now it is more and more frequent. It is so fun to feel those first kicks. It's like this little piece of reality for me because just knowing I'm pregnant doesn't really make it real, for some reason. I like having that connection with her. Knowing that when I'm singing in the car with Ollie, she can hear us. And when I laugh all day at Oliver, she's wondering what is so funny and is enjoying the belly ride.

What Oliver's been up to...

Hanging out with his cousin Noelle while we help moved the Winstead's into their new place in Sugar House. We discovered all sorts of fun things at the park there. And I discovered that watching two kids at the park is way different than watching one. Plus there were about a million people there and I am deathly scared of kidnappers.


While packing the other day, Oliver ran over to me so excited about something and finally I realized he was yelling "toes!" He had taken a red sharpee and painted his toenails. I guess he missed having them painted. I kept saying "Oh pretty", so he started calling them pretty too.
Of course hanging out with mom is the best, we are such buddies. He has had some major Dad moments this week too. He's usually used to Ryan leaving in the morning for school and demands a hug and kiss for us both. If Ryan forgets a hug for me, he pushes him to me and says"hug". It is too funny. Usually we do a hug sandwich, it's just easier that way. But sometimes we run up to campus to drop off lunch or whatever Ryan needs, so Ollie only sees him for a minute. On the ride home he is devastated and cries and then when we get out of the car he runs out to the end of the driveway and yells "dada". He LOVES that Dad of his, and who can blame him. One of my favorite things is to see the look on Ollie's face when Ryan gets home. Pure joy and excitement. Eating yummy things, like our mother's day cake. This was fun until he kept saying "cah-kay" (Oliver's take on the word cake) demanding it at all times. So it got thrown away.

Who doesn't love to play the piano naked once in a while?

We have all this snowboard stuff and Ollie usually puts on googles, one glove, and a helmet. I wish I could photo the whole get-up, it's pretty funny.

Thoughts on Mother's Day

So I was watching "A Baby Story" (I know surprise, surprise) the other day and there was this mom on it who was just driving me insane! She said it was her worst nightmare essentially to be just a stay-at-home mom. She actually had her husband quit his job and move home to start a business together from home so he would have an equal part of the raising of their kids. She said that if he worked outside the home basically her kids wouldn't know their dad and she didn't always want to be the one who they depended on. It made me so sad to realize that this is what it's come down to.

My mom was always home with us. Some days I would call from the nurse and I'm sure my mom knew it wasn't a dire situation but she let me come home because it was a chance to hang out at home alone with mom, something that didn't happen that often. I love that my mom did this, realizing that time with her sometimes was more important than school. It's so interesting to realize how much things have changed. Growing up I actually had fantasies of being a single mom, super cool, just handling life on my own with my gorgeous kids in New York. Or that scene with the working mom who handles everything and somehow accomplishes it all without failing anyone or anything. That is just NOT POSSIBLE. I've had this conversation with my sister Leah a lot, just about how women now are made to think they really can do it all and not just do it, but do it 100%. Sure it's simple to work full time and give 100% to that, and then be a mom 100%, and then be a wife 100%. But guess what? That equals to 300%. Pretty sure that's impossible. Something will always lack and I think we will look back and say, you know what, I didn't do great at anything, just good enough.

And hey, I have not always thought this. I have struggled with the idea of never working again, never being apart of something huge outside the home. I remembered when I was considering a few different jobs, I was talking to my mom and she finally just said, "it's so sad that you are made to think that being a mom isn't good enough". It was a huge moment for me to realize I really thought that. Not that I BELIEVED it, I just have grown up hearing it so much that it becomes part of your thinking. I even remember thinking before having kids, what do moms do all the time? I asked a few friends who had kids, "do you ever get bored"? They said, "just wait, you'll see". I'm sure I just sounded a little rude and naive. But it's so true. Life is so fulfilling and so rewarding. Who knew I could feel like I accomplished so much in one day with really nothing to show for it, other than a healthy happy kid. Now when people ask me that, I'm sort of like, been there...you'll see. Because you realize that although the things you may have done before were rewarding in some way, it is no where near what you feel when you are raising kids...and doing it right.

I think my mom told me this most important piece of information. That if you have a happy marriage and a happy family, what else can really matter. I could be the most successful doctor in the world but if I came home to kids who were cared for all day by strangers, a husband who I hardly knew anymore, and the guilt that comes with that, what do you have left? At the end of your life, what will you be grateful for? A job. I don't think so. It's funny cause even while I've been sitting here typing this Oliver has come over to me a few times just to sit with me and hug me and kiss me like he misses me. Imagine missing that all day, it's too much. And the thing is, so many people were just raised like this so they don't know any different. But what if they knew what they were giving up, would they still do it? When Ryan and I first got married I worked at a preschool with the cutest group of 2 and 3 year olds. Some of them would get dropped off before 7 in the morning and their parents would come pick them up around 6 or 7 that night. These are 2 and 3 year old kids. I'm sure they stopped at a drive-thru on the way home and had maybe an hour before bed. 1 hour they get to spend with their parents. I actually cried at work a few times realizing that I was spending more time with these kids than their parents were.

Sometimes I know that situation's do not allow for a mom to be home with her kids. It breaks my heart for that mom who wants so badly to be home but can't. I hope I'm never in that situation. I don't want to offend anyone who's mother worked, or anyone who is currently working. This is just my opinion and I'm sticking to it. I guess it's the blessing of having a blog to rant and rave on:) All I know is that this Mother's Day there is no other job I'd rather be doing and there is nothing more rewarding, I know that for a fact. I hope we mom's can love our kids so that they will someday show it. Mom's are the coolest, don't let anyone ever tell you different.

Drumroll please...

I know! Who knew Facer's (well at least Nita and Burnetts genes) could produce girls, we are very pleased with ourselves! So yeah, very exciting news and now the name game begins as well as thinking of buying tons of cute girl clothes cause let's be honest, it's about 100 times more fun to buy girl clothes than boys. It was funny cause this morning before we went in, we were like, last chance guess...what do you think? Ryan said girl and I was like yeah, totally girl. It was fun to be right about that although either way it would have been awesome. Hopefully there is not a penis hiding somewhere in there or else we'll get a big surprise. Oliver will be so excited to have a little girl to love, he is totally a sister's brother, just like mine:) Picking names is SO HARD for me so wish me luck to find that perfect name for a girl with Oliver's face:) Wouldn't it just be so darling to see a little blonde curly haired Ryan look alike. I cannot wait. Everything else also looked good, blessings blessings. I want to snuggle her now. Well maybe not now, scary.

A little documentation...

So I'm gonna have to be that mom who blogs about her child's bodily fluids. Oliver peed and pooped in the toilet today! But don't be fooled, he is not potty trained, we are just dabbling in it here and there making sure he's ready. Usually he couldn't care less about what is in his diaper but recently I have been mentioning the potty to him and sitting myself on the toilet when he does, a little moral support never hurt anyone. So I am hoping this makes him more aware of that part of life, and so far it seems to be working. I was going to try the potty boot camp, but I think that might stress him out a little...we'll probably try that a little later. As of now we're just celebrating this small achievement.

Also, since Ryan and I have gone out golfing a few times, Oliver has become pretty passionate about the sport (I use that word very lightly with golf). So today I bought him a plastic set for 3 bucks at Big Lots. The minute I unwrapped it, he threw the pack over his arm and said "bye" in the funniest way, with such attitude. He then went out to the grass in the backyard to set up his own personal game.

One of my favorite things lately with Ollie is bedtime prayers. When we say them, he makes Ryan and I stand right next to each other so we are close enough for him to put both his arms around our necks and he tried repeating our prayer in his sweet little voice, it usually sounds something like this.

Me: "We're thankful for dadda"

Ollie: "Dadda"

Me: "We're grateful for all our blessings"

Ollie: "Blessings"

Me: "Help us to be kind and loving"

Ollie: "Kind and loving"

So you get the idea. And whenever he hears an amen, he is like "amen!". Such enthusiasm. And we always say "love you" when we say goodnight, and he says it over and over as we leave the room, in his little sing song voice. It really is the best.

A favorite game lately is "I get you". Ryan will always say, "I'm gonna get you" and then chase Oliver around the house. Now Ollie is the one saying "I get you" and then Ryan hides while Ollie runs around the house yelling dadda until he hears Ryan squeaking hints from his hiding spots. It pretty hilarious to watch cause usually Ryan startles him and he squeals for joy.

He is starting to talk a lot more and a lot clearer. Sometimes I still think he's combining English and Spanish and I just have to have him show me what he wants. But it's getting there. Lately he will only need to hear a word once and then days later will still remember it, so that's big improvement. The delay is normal for bilingual kids and I know it will pay off when he's acing Spanish in High School:) The other day at church he went up to one of the members in choir and said "chocala" which is high five in Spanish. It was so funny. I feel like I'm laughing all day with him because he really does the funniest things. I can't wait to see what kind of crazy kid he will grow into. He is such a wild man and such a total boy but also the sweetest, most sensitive little guy. That's a good combo. We were watching Lars and the Real Girl, one of my top faves and also all of Ollie's favorite songs, and he seriously sat through the whole movie, well almost. The best part was that whenever anyone was sad or the music would change, Ollie would look at me and his eyebrows would furrow and he just said "sad". He is so intuitive and can key into emotions amazingly well, especially when music is involved. Maybe he'll write beautiful music one day like his favorites from Lars. He is so amazing.

Happy Birthday Annie!

My wonderful little sister Annie has a birthday today so I just had to do a shout out. Anyone who knows Annie, knows she is seriously the best. She is always up for anything and definetely has some major guts. She is a great example to me and I love her.

Mother's Intuition??

Lately I've been getting asked a lot what I think the baby is going to be, you know that gut mothers instinct. Ok, with Ollie I sort of from the beginning had my suspicions that he would be a boy, but I would have never bet money on it. This time, I have felt probably more strongly than with Oliver that this would be a girl...up till about a week ago, when all I could think about was a little baby boy and boy names and everything boy. Strange. So I wanted to know, did any of you actually experience this mother's intuition and KNOW that you were having a boy or girl. I mean isn't there always a 50/50 chance? The poll is also funny, almost split dead even, so at least as much will guess right as wrong. Having babies is so fun.

For Biggest Loser watchers

Ok so I am totally annoyed that Ron and his Son Mike made the final four, kicking Filipe out of his spot. Since when did lying get you ahead in life. I still can't understand why people think it's a good idea to lie on a show where their every move is being filmed. I mean we all saw and heard you! I think that Ron should have been given a 5 pound disadvantage for being a total game player and jerk. And I don't think he did jack crap this whole season, the only reason he is still there is because everyone was scared to death of him, they called him the "Godfather" for heaven's sakes. I am all for weight loss and getting healthy, but that's what it has to be about, not the game. Filipe worked his butt off, and is young with small children. He deserved to be there about a 100 times more than Ron. We'll see who loses the weight and keeps it off. Pretty much the only reason Ryan and I were so excited about watching was for the Tongan cousins ,Filipe and Sione. I hope they show up at the final show and kick some major trash. I know it's lame that I have to vent about this show on my blog but there aren't many shows I really love, and I just had to work through a little aggression. But let's be honest, I'll still watch next season. That show makes me cry every time.

Graduation tastes oh so sweet...

Ok, that is one good looking graduate.
Our other gradute Meg and her hubby Aaron.

Aren't moms the best? I'm sure Nita has a little something to do with Ryan's success:)

Can you tell we're excited? Well we are. Oliver just loves any reason to cheer.
And just for funsies...a cute one of me with my boyfriend.

Is that an umbilical cord or a penis??

We went in to an early ultrasound today to see if we could find out what this baby is. I was a little doubtful whether we'd be able to find out or not. So after trying to get a few different angles we had no luck. Actually we got a few really good shots in between the legs but the umbilical cord just happened to be running straight through the middle of the legs, so we weren't sure whether there was a penis being hidden or not. We have our official ultrasound in a few weeks in the hospital so we'll have to wait till then. Oliver was absolutely fascinated with the ultrasound. His eyes were glued on it the whole time and he didn't say one word. He says "baby" to my tummy and talks in this really high pitched voice to the baby, so funny. I don't think he quite gets it yet. He is going to be the best big brother.