Thoughts on Mother's Day

So I was watching "A Baby Story" (I know surprise, surprise) the other day and there was this mom on it who was just driving me insane! She said it was her worst nightmare essentially to be just a stay-at-home mom. She actually had her husband quit his job and move home to start a business together from home so he would have an equal part of the raising of their kids. She said that if he worked outside the home basically her kids wouldn't know their dad and she didn't always want to be the one who they depended on. It made me so sad to realize that this is what it's come down to.

My mom was always home with us. Some days I would call from the nurse and I'm sure my mom knew it wasn't a dire situation but she let me come home because it was a chance to hang out at home alone with mom, something that didn't happen that often. I love that my mom did this, realizing that time with her sometimes was more important than school. It's so interesting to realize how much things have changed. Growing up I actually had fantasies of being a single mom, super cool, just handling life on my own with my gorgeous kids in New York. Or that scene with the working mom who handles everything and somehow accomplishes it all without failing anyone or anything. That is just NOT POSSIBLE. I've had this conversation with my sister Leah a lot, just about how women now are made to think they really can do it all and not just do it, but do it 100%. Sure it's simple to work full time and give 100% to that, and then be a mom 100%, and then be a wife 100%. But guess what? That equals to 300%. Pretty sure that's impossible. Something will always lack and I think we will look back and say, you know what, I didn't do great at anything, just good enough.

And hey, I have not always thought this. I have struggled with the idea of never working again, never being apart of something huge outside the home. I remembered when I was considering a few different jobs, I was talking to my mom and she finally just said, "it's so sad that you are made to think that being a mom isn't good enough". It was a huge moment for me to realize I really thought that. Not that I BELIEVED it, I just have grown up hearing it so much that it becomes part of your thinking. I even remember thinking before having kids, what do moms do all the time? I asked a few friends who had kids, "do you ever get bored"? They said, "just wait, you'll see". I'm sure I just sounded a little rude and naive. But it's so true. Life is so fulfilling and so rewarding. Who knew I could feel like I accomplished so much in one day with really nothing to show for it, other than a healthy happy kid. Now when people ask me that, I'm sort of like, been there...you'll see. Because you realize that although the things you may have done before were rewarding in some way, it is no where near what you feel when you are raising kids...and doing it right.

I think my mom told me this most important piece of information. That if you have a happy marriage and a happy family, what else can really matter. I could be the most successful doctor in the world but if I came home to kids who were cared for all day by strangers, a husband who I hardly knew anymore, and the guilt that comes with that, what do you have left? At the end of your life, what will you be grateful for? A job. I don't think so. It's funny cause even while I've been sitting here typing this Oliver has come over to me a few times just to sit with me and hug me and kiss me like he misses me. Imagine missing that all day, it's too much. And the thing is, so many people were just raised like this so they don't know any different. But what if they knew what they were giving up, would they still do it? When Ryan and I first got married I worked at a preschool with the cutest group of 2 and 3 year olds. Some of them would get dropped off before 7 in the morning and their parents would come pick them up around 6 or 7 that night. These are 2 and 3 year old kids. I'm sure they stopped at a drive-thru on the way home and had maybe an hour before bed. 1 hour they get to spend with their parents. I actually cried at work a few times realizing that I was spending more time with these kids than their parents were.

Sometimes I know that situation's do not allow for a mom to be home with her kids. It breaks my heart for that mom who wants so badly to be home but can't. I hope I'm never in that situation. I don't want to offend anyone who's mother worked, or anyone who is currently working. This is just my opinion and I'm sticking to it. I guess it's the blessing of having a blog to rant and rave on:) All I know is that this Mother's Day there is no other job I'd rather be doing and there is nothing more rewarding, I know that for a fact. I hope we mom's can love our kids so that they will someday show it. Mom's are the coolest, don't let anyone ever tell you different.