Sept. 11th

I remember 10 years ago today, I was a freshman at BYU-Idaho. I woke up in the morning same as always, got in the shower, started to blow dry my hair and Kristen came in and said "Bets, a plane just hit the world trade center in New York". I had to register a moment what she was talking about. It didn't sound real. Immediately I remembered a trip I spent with my Dad and sister Regan where we went to the trade center and walked around. I remember how enormous and vast the buildings were, how many people worked there. New York, it couldn't be true. How does that even happen?

So I went to our tv and started watching everything unfold. I just remember climbing onto the couch, curling my legs up and crying. I can remember the gasp that came out when the second plane hit and I thought the world was coming to an end. I seriously felt this heavy panic set in as the newscasters confirmed that this was not accidental. Who could be capable of this? I don't know why but it didn't hit me immediately that the towers could come down. When it happened, it was like the air was being taken from me, like it was for so many people there who's lives were taken.

I sat all day in front of the tv and watched what evil was capable of. I prayed and prayed all day for those who were taken, for their families. I prayed for those who were trying to help, and those who died helping. I remember going on campus that day and looking around for some kind of reaction from others. It seemed strange that people were going on with their day. I don't know what I expected but it felt like we should all just sit and be still. So that's basically what I did for the days following the attack.

I had a few "why God" moments as I digested what had happened. I had some very real spiritual moments as I was reassured God has a plan for each of us and knows all. I was so comforted to know that families can be together forever. That those who lost the ones they loved would be reunited after this life. I had moments of understanding and even forgiveness for the bad decisions of others. I saw love everywhere. Truly, I have never seen so much compassion and love as our country united itself. All the petty inconveniences of life were put away. Everyone understood for a moment what really matters. We were all given a bit of clarity. I'm glad that I got to re-live some of those moments today as I pondered upon this anniversary. I'm glad to sit in church and know that our Heavenly Father loves each of us and wants more than anything for us to love one another.

I hope I can always remember...